Michael’s hatred of Toby on The Office can be summed up in this quote: “Of all the idiots in all the idiot villages, in all the idiot worlds, you stand alone, my friend.” Their relationship is so funny because there’s no reason for Michael’s dislike of Toby (unless, of course, you believe the fan theories that Toby is actually the Scranton Strangler). Michael never misses a shot at Toby and sometimes he just comes across as a straight-up bully. While basically any episode that Steve Carell and Paul Lieberstein are both featured in include at least one overt diss or sly dig, 17 of Michael’s meanest Toby moments can be found by clicking “Next” below…
1. Every Time He Mentioned Toby’s Divorce
Michael goes on to say, “Also, he’s divorced, so he’s really not a part of his family.” He likes to remind Toby, and everyone else, of Toby’s divorce as often as possible. Keep in mind that Michael isn’t exactly lucky with the ladies, either, but that doesn’t stop him from shaming Toby for his unfortunate love life.
2. When he Threw the “Goodbye, Toby” Party
Michael is so glad that Toby is planning to move to Costa Rica that he plans a celebration for the office. It’s not any old office party either — there are carnival rides and live music. The night ends with fireworks. Michael doesn’t hide his elation, so Toby knows exactly how happy Michael is that he’s leaving.
3. When He Gave Toby a Rock as a Goodbye Gift
Before Toby leaves for Costa Rica, Michael does an exit interview with him. Michael doesn’t realize that Holly, Toby’s replacement, will be present for the interview. When he gives Toby his gift, a rock that says “suck on this,” he pretends it was a prank. Hilariously, Pam tricks Michael into giving Toby his watch.
4. When He Asked, “Why Are You the Way that You Are?”
The office has a casino night, and the proceeds go to supporting the Boy Scouts. Michael wants to bring a Boy Scout troop to visit the casino night. When Toby tells Michael that it’s a bad idea, Michael gets fed up. He asks Toby, “why are you the way that you are?” and accuses him of taking away all his fun. He goes on to say, “I hate so much about the things that you choose to be.” It’s as if Michael is trying to insult Toby as diplomatically as possible.
5. During the Offensive Two Bullets Scenario
During an office meeting run by Toby, Michael jokes that if he had two bullets and was in a room with Hitler, Bin Laden, and Toby, he would shoot Toby twice. That’s some hardcore (and tbh, problematic) dislike. But in classic Office form, everyone takes the scenario seriously and tries to figure how Michael could shoot all three men with just two bullets.
6. When He Freaked Out When Toby Returned from Vacation
I can’t help but laugh out loud whenever I watch Michael yell “no” several times at the realization that Toby is back from vacation. He thought Toby was still out of the office, even though the HR rep had been back for a whole week already. When Jim tells him otherwise, he walks back to Toby’s desk, expecting it to be a joke. Michael gets a surprise when he sees that indeed, Toby is there, and his emphatic reaction is hilarious every time.
7. When He Came Up With the “Jerky Jerk-Face” Insult
If his freak out wasn’t enough, his words to Toby when noticing he was back from his trip really got the point across that Michael was not all that enthused by Toby’s return. But this insult may have shown that after all the years of insulting Toby, the Regional Manager was running out of disses. He calls Toby a “jerky jerk face.” Tbh, it could’ve been worse.
8. When He Barred Toby from Beach Day
The whole office takes a field trip to a local lake for a beach day. Toby is excited to go until Michael tells him that he can’t come. He says that someone has to stay at the office, so Toby spends the day alone.
9. When Things Got Violent
Michael is a surprisingly talented ice skater and takes everyone to the ice rink for his birthday celebration to show off his hockey prowess. While skating, he body slams an unsuspecting Toby into the wall and not gonna lie, it looks like it hurts.
10. When He Tried to Frame Him With Caprese Salad
Michael wants to fire Toby, but he needs a reason. So, he and Dwight try to plant what they think is weed in Toby’s desk. It turns out that what they bought was actually Caprese salad. Toby is lucky that Michael doesn’t know much about drugs.
11. After Some Familial Drama Went Awry
In a bizarre scene during season 7, Michael spanks his nephew/new employee for being rude to others in the office. Michael’s obviously called out for being unprofessional and is forced by Corporate to go to counseling… with Toby. The counseling doesn’t go smoothly, and Michael acts petulant, serving up this classic line.
12. When He Literally Threatened Death to Toby
Michael doesn’t mess around. He is brutally honest. At least he tried to make the threat a secret by covering his face.
13. When He Made it Abundantly Clear That Toby is Never Welcome
LOL — this one’s ironic. Even on Diversity Day, Michael can’t stand to have Toby where he is and tries to exclude him.
14. When the Regional Manager Demonstrated What a Lie Is
Michael’s ideas for bullying Toby are endless and somehow this reverse-truth way of saying he hated Toby comes across as even more rude than his usual antics.
15. When Toby Finally Received a Dundie
The Dundies is a tradition for the office and we love ’em! Most of the time, the viewers don’t see Toby get an award, but see all the other employees get ~mostly~ complimentary awards that reflect how Michael feels about them. Finally, in “Michael’s Last Dundies,” Michael gives him the “extreme repulsiveness” award. It probably felt better to just not get an award, but who knows? It’s not like Michael’s opinion of Tobes had been a secret up until then.
16. When Office Parties Were Encouraged for Every Occasion… Except for Toby’s Birthday
If you’re a fan of The Office, you know that they throw a lot of birthday parties because Michael jumps at any opportunity to hang out and slack off (another reason there are so many meetings in the conference room). There is, however, one time that he’ll choose to work hard instead of celebrating — Toby’s birthday. Poor Toby has to attend everyone else’s celebration without getting one of his own.
17. With Michael’s “Evil Snail” Insult
This insult is funny because it’s so odd. I’m not sure it’s even offensive since it’s so amusing and an “evil snail” seems kind of cute!