One of the biggest relationship killers is a having a partner who is always taking you for granted.
Sometimes it’s hard to tell if you’re being treated fairly if you’ve been with the same person for what seems like forever. For many, they fall into the same routine day after day and might not even realize that their significant other is actually being really unappreciative of all they do. It’s TFW some of the things we used to do as “something special” have turned into expectations that should never have been put in place and wind up putting more stress on the relationship.
But how do you now if your relationship has fallen off into the deep end and you’re stuck putting in all this effort while getting nada in return? For a lot of us, it takes a loooong time to realize how crappy we’ve been treated.
Without knowing just what to look for, you could end up spending years with someone who’s taking, taking, taking and never, ever offering to give. No relationship should end up like that and nobody deserves their relationship to be one-sided in such a way.
If you want to figure out if your significant other is taking you for granted, these signs may help you get to the bottom of it.
1. They Never Say Thank You
This might seem harmless enough, but there’s a reason our parents hammered the idea of thanking someone when they’ve done something nice into our brains for years and years. It shows your appreciation. Without acknowledging the nice things a person has done for you, you’re basically telling them that what they did doesn’t matter to you. The next time you do something nice for your boo, pay attention to how they respond.
2. They Don’t Respond to Your Calls or Texts in a Reasonable Timeframe
People get busy. Sometimes their phones even die and they just can’t get back to you. But if your partner is making this a regular occurrence and has no respect for your texts and calls, it could be a sign they’re taking you for granted. If they brush off your complaints about how effing annoying this is, then they’re definitely taking you for granted.
3. They Expect You to do Everything for Them
AKA, they’re spoiled AF. But it’s not just about you spoiling them because that’s totally okay to do if your favors are being reciprocated. What makes it not okay at all is when they expect those things of you. When they expect you to do the dishes, take out the trash, and even cook all their meals, they don’t appreciate a damn thing you do. Try seeing if they’ll make a compromise: you’ll cook dinner if they do the dishes. If they act like that’s the end of the world, it’s a sign the end of the relationship is approaching.
4. They Hardly do Anything Nice for You
Expanding on that last point, if they expect things of you without doing anything to deserve those kind gestures, they’re taking you for granted. I’m not just talking about them being busy and unable to make you supper because of their long workdays. I’m talking about them refusing to do those nice things because it’s “your job.”
5. They Get Upset if You Don’t Do Something for Them
Do you want to spot a truly unappreciative S.O? Stop doing those nice things for them and see how they respond. Do they act concerned and ask you what’s wrong or do they immediately get annoyed and even angry about it? If it’s the latter, you’ve definitely got an unappreciative partner on your hands. If this happens, you need to sit them down and discuss why they’re upset. Make sure they understand how bogus their anger is and then hit them with the truth: they’re ungrateful.
6. You Never Go Out on Dates
I don’t care how long you’ve been together, date nights are crucial in maintaining a healthy and happy relationship. You need to spend quality time together in order to…wait for it…appreciate each other. Date nights are a time to bond and grow closer and love each other. If your partner isn’t even willing to spend a single night a week doing something special with you, how can they show their appreciation?
7. They Don’t Respect Your Time
Your time is just as precious as theirs. We all have the same amount of time each day to do what we need to do. If your partner is trying to take some of that time away from you so you can do something for them, they’re clearly taking you for granted. This is especially true if they can’t do anything for you or they get mad when you need their help with something. The double standard is real and it’s unacceptable.
8. You’re Not a Priority
Relationships aren’t something you can just have and not put an effort into. They’re important. They should be one of the most important things in your life and if they’re not, then why are you in one? Just like you make your partner a priority, you need to be a priority in their life. If they’re always ditching your date nights to hang with their friends, they’re taking you for granted and you shouldn’t stand for it.
9. You Sacrifice a Lot but They Don’t
Everything good in life comes with some sacrifice and relationships are no exception. You need to be willing to give a few things in order to make it work. I’m not talking about anything major, but little things here and there are necessary in order to maintain a healthy, happy relationship.
But if you’re sacrificing a lot, like your evening kickboxing class, a few nights a week to spend time with them, or your favorite TV shows so they can watch theirs and they’re not giving up anything in return, it’s a problem.
10. Your Passions Don’t Matter to Them
I’m not saying they have to take up any and all of your hobbies, but they should make your passions important to them. They’re what matters most to you other than friends and family. Your S.O. should want to be a part of that. If they don’t give a $h*! about what you love to do and offer no support at all but expect you to be at every single baseball game or event they participate in, they’re unappreciative.
11. Your Concerns Don’t Matter Either
Call me crazy (I’m not crazy), but your partner should probably pay attention when you say you’re unhappy. They should want to make things better when you’re upset. So if you’re going to them with concerns about any issue you may have about your relationship (financial stresses, your sex life, etc.) and they don’t try to change things, they’re basically saying that because they don’t think you’ll leave, then your problems don’t matter.
12. You Sometimes Seriously Question If They Even Care About You
This is really a huge sign you’re being taken for granted. If you keep giving your all to the partnership but you aren’t even sure if your partner cares about you deep down, something is definitely wrong. This is because our boyfriends and girlfriends are supposed to do nice things for us just like we do for them. They should be showing their love and appreciation. So if they’re not, you know that something’s up.
13. They Don’t Listen When You Talk
And I mean when you talk about anything important to you. Yes, even if it’s the major drama that went down on last night’s ep of The Bachelorette. Your significant other is your partner. They’re your teammate. They should be rooting for you more than you even root for yourself. If they’re not even listening to how your day went, they certainly don’t appreciate having you in their life.
14. They Get Really Impatient With You
Everyone has a temper after a certain amount of agitation but when your S.O. is getting impatient with you because you’re not doing something they want you to fast enough, it’s time to do some reflecting. A partner who gets irritated with you so easily is not someone who appreciates what you’re doing. Imagine if you got upset with your significant other because they were taking too long to make you dinner. How crazy would that seem? Well, I’ve got news for you. They’re doing relatively the same thing to you.
15. They Go Out Whenever They Want But Tell You Not To
And the double standards have returned. Have you noticed a pattern yet? If your S.O. is going out all night and enjoying time with friends but gets upset when you do the same because of whatever excuse they scrounge up, they’re totally fine making you unhappy if it means they’re sitting comfortably. Newsflash: they’re also manipulating you by doing this. They’re making you feel guilty about having fun even though they do the same thing all the freakin’ time.
16. Your Sexual Needs are Hardly (if ever) Met
This is seriously the definition of selfish. Wanna talk double standards? When your partner is getting off in the bedroom no problem and your orgasm isn’t even a second thought to them, they’re definitely taking you for granted. When you boil it down: they are only caring about their pleasure, not yours. Since relationships should be all about pleasure of all different kinds,
then not giving an eff about your sexual satisfaction means they’re not only being a total douchebag, but also taking you for granted.