Riverdale is one of the hottest teen dramas currently on our televisions. It has attractive characters, interesting plotlines and tons of drama. And oh yeah, it’s absolutely absurd. Whether Riverdale is your guilty pleasure or a show you proudly watch, you have to admit that the show can be way too extra at times. By the end of season two, we’d forgotten that we were dealing with high schoolers here! It’s a show we can’t help but love, but here are 16 of the many times that Riverdale was the most ridiculous show on the planet. (I think it goes without being said that there will be spoilers, but we’ll just warn ya anyway.)
16. When Veronica and Archie sang “Mad World” as a duet
Don’t get us wrong. Their voices are beautiful and sound absolutely heavenly together. But “Mad World”? Out of all the songs? Archie and Veronica take the stage in the Whyte Worm, as all the Serpents are there to throw one last shebang for FP Jones, who is set to leave the Southside for good. Instead of singing along to a total banger, Archie-kins and Veronica sing this slow and somber number that in turn could put us to sleep. The whole moment just feels forced and awkward, and the two lovebirds aren’t even in a good place to begin with at that moment. Veronica flees the stage before the song is even over, and honestly, we’re not even mad about it.
15. When Betty pole danced in front of the Serpents
This was probably one of the most ridiculous moments in Riverdale history. It comes directly after Archie and Veronica abandon their “Mad World” duet, so we’re already not in a good place! It begins with Betty taking the stage, continuing to sing the song. Everything is fine and dandy until she starts removing her pretty pastels to reveal some racy black lingerie. And this all goes down in front of all the Serpents, including her mom, Jughead and FP (her boyfriend’s father), no less! Just when we think this moment can’t get anymore incredibly awkward, she starts dancing around the pole to the discomfort and bemusement of the crowd. We get that she’s attempting to perform a Serpent ritual, but still! Betty is seriously underage here, and did Cheryl have to do that to earn her jacket later on.
14. When Cheryl’s nana “fell” the stairs
So, Nana Rose just fell down the stairs, wheelchair and all? Sure, Jan. We’re no fools here, and neither is Cheryl. Luckily, she had Toni and her inner circle stay over for a sleepover, or who else knows what would have happened? This moment just confirms that Cheryl was right not to trust her mother and her sus AF uncle, but seriously though. This show is straight-up bonkers sometimes, but never anything short of entertaining. The rest of the girls definitely thought Cheryl was as crazy as we thought!
13. When Veronica and Betty tried out for the cheerleading squad
Betty and Veronica are the iconic friendship duo we try to emulate with our own best friend. However, this scene was just a little too extra. It’s clear that Cheryl is only interested in having Veronica as a River Vixen, but with Veronica, it’s her way or the highway. To convince Cheryl and the other girls even more that this dynamic duo is a packaged deal, Veronica pulls in Betty for a big ol’ smooch. Definitely nothing we’ve never seen before, but why resort to a kiss over anything else to win your spots on the team? This didn’t happen when we were in high school.
12. When Dark Betty made her first appearance
Okay, Dark Betty is pretty hot, but seriously… what is going on here? We were just as confused as Chuck was when Betty walked out looking like a dominatrix, if not even more confused. Veronica and Betty were ultimately seeking the truth (and a little bit of revenge) for the gross rumors Chuck spread about V, but this taking it two steps too far. As soon as Betty steps out in her short black wig, a black bustier and red lip, we know that only some trouble can come out of this… which is confirmed when the handcuffs come out. Do these kids have no innocence? They’re only 16, after all!
11. When Archie made a blood pact with Veronica’s dad
Raise your hand if you thought the Archie/Mr. Lodge storyline got real old real quick! *Raises hand* We don’t know about you, but we feel like Mr. Lodge totally rubs us the wrong way. Yeah, it’s established right away that he’s really not that great of a guy, but just everything about him is super off. So when he brings Archie into the fam all mobster-style with an actual blood pact (hasn’t it been established that those can be really dangerous to your health by now?), we’re completely over it. When we were in high school, we were studying for exams and playing Candy Crush, not making ridiculous blood oaths with our girlfriend’s dad! Archie-kins, we thought you knew better than this!
10. When Archie formed the Red Circle
“Honestly, what was Archie thinking?” A thought we have often. He may have bright red hair, but he’s certainly not the brightest crayon in the box sometimes. The Red Circle was truly a horrible idea. Honestly. Rather than intimidating the Black Hood, Archie just ended up putting a target on his own back. Add the fact that Veronica made t-shirts to support the group? Completely ridiculous. We get it, V. You’re a devoted girlfriend, but it’s okay to tell Archie that his plan was really stupid. Not to mention, the entire video they made for the Black Hood was incredibly cringe-y to watch, as is this show sometimes! (But we love it anyway.)
9. When Betty became a cam girl
Did anyone else feel like this part of the show was a bit forced? Not ready to give up on Dark Betty, the show introduced Betty to the world of being a cam girl. Chic shows Betty what he’s really been about since she’s on to him about his suspicious activity. Betty’s dark side is obviously intrigued, and she begins to explore the world as a cam girl on her own. She doesn’t make it quite too far, obviously, especially with Alice Cooper as her mother. We’re surprised Betty was even able to sneak some sexy lingerie into the house!
8. When Polly found out she was having incest babies
Did you see the incest twist coming? Because we’re not too sure if we did. In one of the biggest shockers of Riverdale, the Coopers and the Blossoms discover that Cheryl’s dad and Betty’s dad are related, and somewhere throughout all this family tree mess, Polly and Jason (the father of the twincest babies) are actually cousins. Well, third cousins actually, but still. It’s a huge shocker to both families, and now we understand why Hal Cooper was so hellbent on Polly “taking care” of the babies before she gives birth. What show are we watching again?!
7. When Jughead and Veronica kiss in the hot tub
Ah, it’s starting to feel (a little) like high school again. Veronica, Archie, Betty and Jughead are just chilling in the hot tub at Veronica’s family lake house, like normal teenagers might do. Unfortunately for this foursome, an upset Cheryl reveals to Jughead that she witnessed Archie and Betty kissing in the midst of all the Black Hood madness. They all seem to be over it, but the conversation comes up yet again as they’re heatin’ up in the hot tub. In an attempt to make things even, Veronica offers to kiss Jughead and promptly does so with the O.K. of Archie and Betty. The whole thing is kinda awkward, leaving us wondering if that was even necessary?
6. When Cheryl tried to burn down her own house
This B is crazy AF, and we love her for it. I mean, do you blame her? She’s got a batshit mom, a (dead) murderer for a father and a crush on her dead brother (we think). But again, don’t get us wrong. Cheryl is absolutely fabulous, so we let a lot slide when it comes to her character. However, when she attempts to burn down Thornhill, we’re just not totally sure if we can get behind it. Surely there are other ways to start fresh? Not when you’re Cheryl Blossom, we suppose. Ther girl’s certainly got a flare for the dramatic!
5. When Cheryl and Veronica have a dance-off
Again, Cheryl takes the cake for being the most ridiculous in the show, but Ronnie can sometimes come in a close second. The amount of dance scenes in this show is kinda cray if you think about it, because we don’t know of any other cheer practice that operates this way. At least, in this case, their dance-off is to decide something trivial like who gets to be featured front and center at homecoming. Now, that’s the kind of realistic high school drama we’re looking for. Much to Cheryl’s disappointment, the River Vixens choose Veronica as the winner of the dance-off, further perpetuating the rivalry between the two.
4. When Archie has an affair with a teacher
Taking a page from Gossip Girl, Dawson’s Creek, and Pretty Little Liars’ playbook, Riverdale throws in another teenager/teacher relationship. But this time, it’s between Archie, who just wants to ~play music~, and Miss Grundy, a young and hot music teacher (how convenient!). Sure, a teacher/student affair isn’t new, but why are we still promoting what’s essentially statutory rape? Archie was coming out of his freshman year in high school when it began. It’s sick! Their storyline didn’t even last that long, and honestly, what did it accomplish in the show? Geraldine Grundy was a much older character in the Archie comics anyway, and there was no such affair.
3. When Cheryl gets trapped under a bed of ice
As we’ve established, Cheryl is a pretty troubled character. On the first season, Cheryl returns to Sweetwater River to “be with Jason.” Fortunately, she texts this message to Veronica, who alerts the others that Cheryl is attempting suicide. The gang rushes to Sweetwater River in an attempt to save her. Just before they can successfully coax her to shore, part of the ice breaks and she falls into the frozen river. It’s one of the more serious scenes on the show, and we’re just shook by all the terrible things thrown Cheryl’s way.
2. When we find out who Jason’s killer is
Finding out who Jason’s killer was turned out to be one of the biggest mysteries of season ne. It didn’t quite disappoint, but as you can already tell, it was kind of ridiculous. It turns out that Jason’s father actually happened to be the one that pulled the trigger, leaving him with a fatal head wound. FP got dragged into the whole mess (figuratively and literally), confessing to the crime earlier in the show in order to protect Jughead from Clifford Blossom’s threats. Are we watching Riverdale or Law and Order: SVU?
1. When Betty comes home to a murder
To be fair, we wouldn’t really know how to react either if we came home to some dead guy on the floor and our mom and half-brother (so we think) cleaning up the mess. But still! How is it that everyone in this show lives terrible, messed-up lives? Oh right, because it’s a made-for-TV teen drama. We can’t tell what the most ridiculous part of this scene is, but if I had to vote, it would be how nonchalant is about the whole thing. Like, her rubber glove is actually covered in blood. We’ve never doubted that Alice Cooper is a badass, but is she crazy, too?