Have you ever had a friend that was in such a bad relationship, that you thought they needed professional help? I’m not talking about abuse, because in that case, intervene away.
I mean one of those co-dependent, on and off, so-wrong-for-each-other but can’t-stay-away-from-each-other relationships. For all intents and purposes, let’s just say your friend is a girl. Their fights are frequent as are her crying phone calls to you. Have you had a friend like that? Or do you currently have a friend like that?
Well, I certainly have and being the best friend/shoulder to cry on has its challenges. It’s hard watching a friend go through that. Being in a complicated relationship is so exhausting. Both mentally and physically! I know that because I have also been that girl.
But, have you ever seen your friend become so overcome, so emotional and such a mess that you were actually concerned for her? Just like an addiction, it seems that she just cannot rid herself of this guy. What now? Why not stage an intervention?
Back when I was that girl, I definitely could’ve used one. I frequently broke it off with my boyfriend only to get right back together with him later. And we were both guilty parties. I’m not sure exactly how it happens, but in one moment, I was convinced that I’d ended it for the last time. Then a couple days would go by and I’d get bored, or I’d need a ride somewhere or I’d remember that he had something of mine that I just absolutely needed it and then one thing would lead to another. We were back together again.
I hated myself for it, and I’m sure that your friend does too. And I’m also willing to bet my friends hated me a little bit too.
Your friend just may need an intervention. But, just like addicts, you must realize that she may not take well to it and it may not work either. But, I say its worth a shot.
The Treatment Solutions Network suggests that when staging an intervention, one must:
- Plan it out
- Seek additional help
- Prepare in advance
- Be careful during the intervention
So, assemble a select group of friends, people that truly care about her and have been affected by the relationship. Lay out for her how she has changed negatively and how the relationship has been destructive to her and to her other relationships. If she’s anything like me, then she probably neglected relationships with her friends, opting to ditch them for him and monopolize every conversation with tales about him. Just like the hit show Intervention does, assign someone to be the mediator of the group. Perhaps the person closest to her to make sure her best interests are at heart and that she is not being judged. Because the girl is only human.
Remind her that you care about her and just want to see her happy and that there are plenty of other men out there in the world! I know that seems like a conventional thing to say, but it’s true.
Brilliant psychologist, Dr. Michael Newton Ph.D devoted 20 years of his illustrious career to the study of the soul and the soul mate. He hypothesized that souls reincarnate and have several lives, and in those lives connections are made. That is why in this current life, you inexplicably feel connected to certain people, But, his research also suggests that because your soul connects with so many people during its life times, it is very likely that it will connect with 3 – 4 people during this current lifetime.
See? Even science believes that there is life after a breakup and that you will meet other people. And science never lies!
So what do you think? Would you ever stage an intervention? How would you feel if you were the subject of one?