Haven’t we all been down the road of heartbreak once or twice? Going through a breakup can be pretty painful especially when you’re the person getting dumped. To avoid confronting your feelings of grief, rejection or even loss, one might be tempted to rebound and hop right on in to another intimate relationship ASAP.
Quite frankly, most people who go through serious breakups need some time on their own before they fall back into another relaysh. And yet, it’s sometimes hard to figure out how much time is ~enough time~ before finding someone new. So if you’re not quite sure whether your new relationship is legit or not, check out 16 clear signs you’re in a rebound relationship.
16. You’d date anyone
If you’ve been dumped by your ex and you are finding yourself drawn to pretty much anyone who will give you attention, simply stated, this is not good. This means that when you do date someone, it’s not because you actually like them but because you like the feeling of having someone to date.
It’s definitely tough to break old habits and having someone around 24/7 for you is definitely a habit, but you’ll just keep going through breakups if you don’t take time for yourself to find the right person.
15. You fell really hard and really fast
Sometimes people say it’s “love at first sight,” but if it’s “love at first sight” less than a month after you and your love of two years broke up then you might want to do some soul-searching. It’s likely your thirst for another relationship that’s making you feel this way, not genuine emotion.
14. Your ex is the main topic of conversation
It may seem like what you’re doing is opening up to your new bae, but really you’re obsessing over your ex. Yes, even if you’re ~playing it off~ like you have no feelings for them, you’re straight up lying to yourself and your rebound. In actuality, the only reason you’re talking about your ex in the first place is that you’re still dwelling on them. It’s different if it’s every once in a while and HONESTLY, you couldn’t tell this story without mentioning their name, but if it’s on a regular basis, girl, you’ve got to quit it.
13. You compare your new partner to your ex
Come on, how is this not totally messed up? For better or for worst, if you’re constantly stacking up your new partner to your ex, then you’re doing way too much thinking about your ex and not doing pretty much any thinking about your rebound’s feelings. This is a telltale sign that you’re not really in this for the right reasons, and it’s time to cut it loose.
12. The new so is eerily similar to your ex
When someone gets into a new relationship not to long after a breakup, they may look for characteristics in their new partner that reminds them of their old one. Whether it’s looks or personality, in some ways it’s just you looking to feel closer to the person who cut you loose, even if it’s a completely different person. Sure, some of us have “types,” but usually it’s just like “ah, I usually go for tall skinny guys.” Not,
“ah, I usually go for tall, skinny guys with red hair and a little bit of facial hair who is constantly making jokes and is super obsessed with Bojack Horseman.” You know what we mean?
11. You’re involved with someone who’s not a serious prospect
When it comes to rebound relationships, there is no bigger sign that you’re in one than this one. And sometimes it’s not necessarily the worst thing in the world! But let’s say that the guy you’re dating doesn’t want kids, and you do, for example, then you’re not really in it for long haul and probably should call it for what it is: an FWB.
10. You want nothing more then your ex to see you with your new bae
Okay again, I think we’ve pretty much declared that doing pretty much anything with your new SO because of your ex is a no-no but let’s spell it out for you here. If you’re hoping you’ll run into the person you used to date so that they’ll be jealous and want you back, then you’re not in your new relationship for the right reasons. Not only is this an unhealthy mindset, but it’s pretty rude to the innocent person who thinks you might be the love of their life.
9. You like the relationship because of all the attention
Maybe at the end of your relationship, your ex was really unappreciative and never gave you the attention you deserved. Maybe they were constantly doting on you. But if you’re in a relationship because you’re feeling starved for the attention, there’s a pretty good chance that you don’t ACTUALLY care about your new partner which puts it in the strictly “rebound” category.
8. The idea of being single makes you sad
Going through a breakup is sad, but that doesn’t mean that being single is always sad! Trust. You shouldn’t get into a relationship just because you don’t want to be alone. This type of relationship is definitely one of emotional convenience, and anyone shouldn’t be better than being alone. You should be dating someone because you genuinely enjoy their company, as well as your own.
7. Hearing about your ex makes you feel devastated
Quite honestly, if your ex is still getting pretty much any emotional response from you, then you probably shouldn’t be with someone else yet. Even emotional pain takes time to heal and that’s definitely what you need to do after a breakup. When your friends bring up your ex, the reason it’s so devastating is because you just re-opened that only partially closed wound. So, feel your feels, but don’t be stringing along someone else as you do that.
6. You think about your ex while being with your new partner
Okay, now I just feel like I’m being repetitive. If you spend a lot of your time daydreaming about all the good times you’ve had with your ex and the first and last thing you think of is them versus your new SO, then you really have no business being in a different relationship at the moment. Be kind.
5. YOU Don’t honestly know how to feel about your new partner
It could be totally unrelated to your ex, but if you’re going back and forth on whether you actually like the person you’re dating, and you’re also fresh out of an old relationship, there’s a good chance this is your rebound. Hey, we’re not saying you shouldn’t take some time with this new person to figure out if you want to chill with them for a while, but make sure you’re not just jumping into commitment head first.
4. Your new partner is excluded from your inner circle
If you don’t even plan on introducing your new bae to your friends, there’s a good chance that there’s a reason: because you don’t think they’ll be sticking around for long. That, or you know that your friends will tell you that it’s too soon to be involved with anyone and that you’re in a rebound relationship… If your friends say it though, you’ve got to listen.
3. You’d get back with your ex in a heartbeat
DUH. DUH. DUH. DUH. If you’d dump the person you’re currently seeing the second your ex came knocking on your door (or after you made ’em do a bit of groveling), then there’s only a 100% chance you’re in a rebound relationship. Damn, though, that’s effed up!
2. Sex is the main priority
Again, we’re talking about a rebound relationship here. If you’ve got some sweet FWB in the works post-breakup, it’s not the end of the world. But if you’re full-on dating someone just so you can have sex with them… you’re going to have to reevaluate your so-called relationship. SRY!
1. You’re stalking your ex on social media… Regularly
Sure, we all stalk an ex from time-to-time. We’re only human. But it’s when you’re stalking them every day after you get home from hanging out with your new SO, that it’s an actual problem. Let yourself be heartbroken and alone for a little while! Let yourself live your best life free of a serious relationship so that you can know that when love finds you again (and it will), you’ll actually be ready for it.