One of the wonderful things about living in the year 2014 is that people have finally come around to the concept that Justin Bieber is the worst. For a while there, it was just me fighting waves upon waves of Beliebers who wanted my head on a platter for saying Bieber was anything but a saint, but those days are long gone.
Now not only do normals agree with me, but celebrities do too! Gone are the days of diplomatic statements about ‘finding his way’ or ‘figuring out his teen years’ or ‘no comment’, and here are the days of everybody speaking their damn mind. It’s super refreshing and I’m obsessed with it, and I never want it to stop. (At least until Bieber does, which I’m hoping will be sooner rather than later.)
But with that in mind, here are a few of my favorite famous-person responses to Justin repeatedly refusing to pull his head out of his ass. THROW THAT SHADE.
10. Bill Hader
Bill got on board early, calling Justin out for being one of the worst hosts ever of Saturday Night Live.
“Justin Bieber showed up with like twenty guys. And every time, backstage is a very small constructed place, he had a guy holding a slice of pizza, a guy holding a Diet Coke. You were trying to fight around all these people to get dressed. Timberlake, it was just him. He’s a real class act, that guy.”
9. Olivia Wilde
Olivia was another early-adopter, criticizing Justin for roaming London with no shirt on during his ‘worst birthday ever‘ weekend last year.
Bieber, put your fucking shirt on. (unless you lost all your shirts in a fire in which case my condolences and please purchase a new shirt.)
— olivia wilde (@oliviawilde) March 2, 2013
She got death threats for that message, which just goes to show you how long ago it was. These days, that’s one of the nicest things you could say about him.
8. Jon Hamm
In an interview with Men’s Health, Jon pointed out Bieber as someone who had absolutely no grasp on any real life skills.
“Look at Bieber or whoever. You’re like, ‘What the fuck, man? What are you doing? Why?’ There’s no one telling those people no, and it’s a shame. Is there a mom or a dad or a really good friend who can say, ‘Hey, shithead!’ You see people in the world and you’re like, ‘Do you know how a washing machine works? Do you know how to wash a dish?’ Life skills are something we’re missing. There used to be a class that kids had to take in high school called home economics, which was cooking and sewing and just sh*t you needed to learn in life.”
Is it just us, or did that quote make him ten times hotter than he ever was on Mad Men?
7. Joel McHale
When Conan O’Brien asked Joel why he thought Justin would’ve egged a house, he answered:
“Because he’s a fucking idiot. I feel like he’s got all those guys around him; he’s just running out of things to do. He’s so rich and so successful that they’re like, ‘Well, what do you want to do?’ and he’s like, ‘Let’s shave a dog, what do you want to do?’”
6. Drake Bell
I mean you knew he’d be on here sooner rather than later, because Drake notoriously hates Justin and has made absolutely no bones about saying it.
“I can’t stand that, with a lot of the pop stars, there’s this idea of ‘Are you in our clique? Are you a Direction-er or are you a Belieber? Oh, you’re not in our gang? Then you’re not cool and you need to go in a hole and die. I don’t understand it. And what’s worse is artists like Lady Gaga and Justin Bieber don’t come out and say, ‘I love having you as my fans, but you shouldn’t be acting this way.’ They just eat it all up, and I think it’s repulsive.”
5. Michelle Obama
What she has to say about Justin isn’t as harsh as the other people on this list, but when the First Lady of the United States is having to comment on your parenting (or lack thereof), that’s a good indicator that something’s way off.
“I don’t know if it would be advice as much as action. I would be very present in his life right now. And I would be probably with him a good chunk of the time, just there to talk, to figure out what’s going on in his head, to figure out who’s in his life and who’s not, you know.”
4. Jon Bon Jovi
In response to the fact that Justin was absurdly late to some of his concerts, so much so that many of his fans had to leave FOR THEIR BEDTIMES before he even arrived, Jon Bon Jovi had this to say to the London Evening Standard:
“Every generation has guys that do that, none of that is new. They run the risk of disrespecting their audience members who have worked hard to pay for their ticket, to give you the permission to take two or three hours of their lives — or in that kid’s case, 80 minutes of their lives. Do it once, you can be forgiven. Do it enough times and shame on you. They won’t have you back. Then it just becomes a cliche. It’s really not cool – you’re an asshole. Go to fuckin’ work!”
3. Rainn Wilson
After Justin was arrested for DUI, Rainn tweeted:
Im starting to miss the young, adorable mop bucket peeing, house egging & strip club raging Bieber of 2013. #belieber #DUIeber
— RainnWilson (@rainnwilson) January 23, 2014
Yeah, those were the days. WAIT HOW DID IT COME TO THIS.
2. Seth Rogen
He’s only met Justin a few times, but every single one of them has left a real shithead taste in his mouth:
“He’s a good example of someone you meet, who you think you’re going to hate him, and then you get to hate him as much as you thought. You meet him, and he meets up to every one of your [bad] expectations of how you hope he will be.”
And there’s way more where that came from.
Ellen is essentially the sweetest little gift that’s ever come to daytime television, so when she says “he’s askin’ for it” as a justification for Kate McKinnon to keep doing her impression of him on SNL, that’s the same as being cussed out by any other celebrity.